EFFECTS ON
SELF-ESTEEM
There
are a multitude of factors which can effect self-esteem but
arguably none is more significant than the family. This is
not to imply that the family is the cause of an individual's
level of self-esteem but rather has a 'predisposing' effect.
Certain parental attitudes have been found to effect
self-esteem (Mruk:1995, Joseph:1994).
These are:
Parental involvement - the greater a parents involvement with and to their child the higher the levels of self-esteem.
Parental warmth - also defined as unconditional positive acceptance (Joseph:1994) is the ability to accept a child's strengths and weaknesses. This acceptance is 'warm' in that it is balanced.
Clear expectations - boundaries that are clear and firm without being authoritarian help the child ascertain what behaviours are acceptable and what are not.
Respect - respect for one's children coupled with a democratic or authoritative parenting style has the most positive effect on self-esteem.
Parental consistency - being consistent in the treatment of one's children enhances self-esteem because it reinforces the value of the child to the parent.
Empowering children - confident, capable individuals who believe they can achieve generally have positive self-esteem (Joseph:1994). Parents can empower children by fostering responsibility for their feelings and actions.
Modeling - children imitate what they see. Parents who face life's challenges honestly and directly expose their children to examples of problem-solving strategies which can enhance self-esteem.
Positive thinking - a positive perspective helps us see the good things in life rather than the bad, which helps foster a positive self-esteem.
Just as there
are experiences which build self-esteem there are others
which can have a damaging effect on self-esteem (Van Ness
1995). Some
of these are:
Repeated negative evaluation by others - if we are repeatedly told we are dumb, stupid, slow, fat and so on we can come to believe this.
Severe or repeated criticism - self-worth and self-confidence can be damaged if we are told that we are 'not good enough' or 'below average'.
Negative humour, putdowns and 'barbed kidding' - all of these are criticism disguised in a joke but nonetheless are a powerful form of putdown.
Mistakes, errors or failures - whilst all of these experiences are normal occurrences in the path of experience, for many they can lower confidence and ultimately self-esteem.
Embarrassment
Messages from others determines one's self-worth - self talk that is based on the views of others can be detrimental to self-esteem especially if those views are negative in nature.
